Blind Spots

June 3, 2010 on 1:46 am | In life coaching | 3 Comments

We all know someone who looks good all the time –who knows how to dress for any occasion, who looks fabulous effortlessly.  Do we admire that skill (because it is a skill) or do we disdain it and criticize (oh, she’s so vain)? 

The same example can be made about other skills, such as money management.  We all know someone who’s good with money – frugal, disciplined, knowledgeable about finance.  Do we learn from this person or do we demonize her (oh, she’s greedy)?

We all have weaknesses, and we all want to improve them.  However, some weaknesses are blind spots because we don’t recognize them or we don’t admit that a particular area is actually useful.  A good way to identify if you have a blind spot for fashion sense or money management is to see which opinion you shared for each of the above examples.  When we have a blind spot, we resent people who do well in our weak area or rationalize that the skill is not important.  Blind spots are energy drains, and blind you to ways to bring out even more of your talents.

Instead of envying the fashion queen and begrudging the financial guru, learn from them.  Why shouldn’t we look better, have more control over our money, and ___________ (fill in the blank with the skill that you know to be useful but currently don’t have).  Pay attention to moments where you find yourself judging someone negatively for doing something well because these might be blind spots.  Obviously, different skills vary in importance for different people, but a financial genius won’t get clients by looking like a mess, and a supermodel can overspend herself into financial ruin.  A breadth of skills is useful to everyone.

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  1. A terrific post and reminder that negatively labeling the skills of others diminishes us. It becomes an indicator of our unacknowleged limitations, the blind spots you make us see.

    There was a commercial years where a little boy commented: “I want to be like Mike” meaning Michael Jordan. Somehow when we’re little and see adults with admirable skills, we see them with awe and motivation. Something happens when we become adults and see others with skills that perhaps we’ve always wanted but never developed. Instead of wanting to “be like” we want to “undercut.”

    I agree wholeheartedly with you, that there is always time and reason to learn new skills and while doing that inspire others to do that same.

    Comment by DawnLennon — June 5, 2010 #

  2. I would hope most of us don’t ‘envy’ others skills, but admire them and realizing their ‘expertise’, strive to improve ourselves, understanding that we recognize their excellence and our weakness.
    I know when I started teaching budgeting and time management workshops, I realized my own weakness in one area.
    I would think our ‘blind spot’ would be a weakness/strength that we don’t see but others do. The only way to find our blind spot is to have others evaluate us in specific area ala Johari Window.

    However I like the article, its cause for self-evaluation and thought…stimulating.

    Comment by adrian — June 12, 2010 #

  3. @Dawn and @Adrian, thanks for the comments! I’m glad the post reignited thoughts around getting negative v being motivated, envy v admiration. I have blind spots myself and appreciate my friends, mentors and coaches for pointing them out and helping me move back to the positive!

    Comment by Caroline — June 13, 2010 #

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